they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Congratulations! We have a period
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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