Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize