I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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