if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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