How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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