Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize