he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
