I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
