She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
