i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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