thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
