Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
and she was petting her beer can
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
