there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize