I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
