Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
