tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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