it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize