Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
where am i from again
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
