well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
