Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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