so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she looked like the before picture.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
