where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
