The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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