I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize