Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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