so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
