bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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