I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
