Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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