You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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