that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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