It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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