how can u be prego again
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
All I want is dick and wine.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
