Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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