people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I am one with the molecules
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize