Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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