can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Panties = found
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
