Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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