the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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