Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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