So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
