Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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