I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
