Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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