It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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