Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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