My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
