i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
