what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
