just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
