Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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