it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
