i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize