Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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