I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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