I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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