is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
