me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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