wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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