Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
