i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
