Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
