we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
