Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
