I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Randomize
