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• (909): View more from California

  I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  i cant believe jose lima did steroids

  (281): View more from Texas

  apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!

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• (718): View more from New York

  did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  next time we drink: battle shots.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Fuck you for even being able to ask that question

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• (206): View more from Washington

  the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...

  (818): View more from California

  were you wearing pants?

  (206): View more from Washington

  no.

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