he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there was a trapeze. enough said
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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