We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
